FIRERASS

FIRERASS

Harry Bissoon 3/03/2023

This blog is written in Guyanese creole. 

It was not her fault that she missed the bus! Neighba Mabel was up early that damp, gloomy morning because she had to get the 2 o'clock bus to New Amsterdam stelling. She made this trip occasionally to  visit her husband's sick parents in Georgetown. Getting the 4:30am Berbice river ferry at New Amsterdam always got her to town early in the morning, so that she could get back home in the evening. 

However, she missed the bus and had to cancel her trip! It was the 'Ole Higue's fault, she told the village people, when they saw her the next day, angry, frustrated, and definitely showing signs of a sleepless night!

She neighba, Mabel proclaimed, was an 'Ole Higue who was always ruction to her and some ah she close friends. She swear to Gawd dat she neighba swing by her and fly past she face, in ball of fire, on that cold, chilly mawning, as she was waiting on the road parapet for the bus. She had seen the ball of fire floating out she neighba front door and heading straight fuh she. She froze and couldn't move and told everyone that the ball of fire almost bun out she natty hair. She said that she, Mabel, had dashed back into her house and close up all she windows and doors tight tight! 

She firerass neighba, aunty Susan, was a gud gud lady during the daytime, Mabel would tell the villagers. But when nighttime come she was a blasted blood sucking crass! Susan was a fisherlady, wife of a gudfuhnuttin drunkard, and would sell swamp shrimps to the whole village, to make ends meet.  If she like yuh, like she liked Mabel, she would sit down with yuh and gaff laang laang! She used to mark she targets, Mabel said, and come back nighttime fuh suck yuh. She suck Mabel plenty time! Mabel does show all de village people dem pinkish blisters on she legs and breasts where Susan suck she blood!

Mabel bin nearly ketch she one night wen Susan tek out she skin and lef dem by she front door landing, and then fly ova to Mabel to suck she. Suh Mabel seh! But Mabel play smart and put two pint white rice outside she front door. Firerass, Mabel seh, must count each grain ah rice, one by one,  before entering the house. And, hear nah, Mabel kno Susan was a front door firerass because when she selling shrimps she would always tell people that she gat decency and don't jump windows. But Mabel's big baad daag intervened, running up the steps, chasing the big ball of fire away. Mabel seh she was peeping through she jelosy window and see everything! The ball of fire, Susan, dashed across the fence, back to her front door, with Big Daag hot on her heels, and then the ball of fire spluttered and disappeared. She had put her skin back on  in the blackness of the night!

Hear nah, neighba Mabel story does always be laang, suh after almost the whole village doubt she story, and she talk till she na able talk na mo, she come up with a plan to publicly ketch Susan.

 She tek one white chalk dat she get from teacher Sukul an mark a line across de road in front she house. Neighba Mabel seh firerass can't cross white line until dem walk seven times, back and forth, from end to end. She guh show aunty Susan, the fisherlady,  'wheh barley a grow'! 

The trap was set! Neighba Mabel secluded herself behind a big, red hibiscus tree in her yard and waited! 

Aunty Susan walked out of her front gate with a basket of swamp shrimps on her head,  and immediately saw the white line on the road! She walked towards it, shouting,  "swamp shrimps, swamp shrimps. Ayuh come an buy shrimps today, gyal. Cheap, cheap!"

She got to the line, stopped, looked towards Mabel's house, and sucked her teeth! She walked on the line, basket on her head, still shouting, "Swamp shrimps! Swamp shrimps! Cheap, cheap!"

She walked three times, and then stopped, and Aunty Susan turned around, with her backside facing Mabel's house, and balancing the basket on her head, she lifted her red skirt, flounced, bent forward, pushed out her bamsie, and unashamedly, did a fine wine! She walked away, shouting, "Shrimps, shrimps! Cheap, cheap!"

From across the street, in a house opposite Mabel's, Jenny, the laundry lady, looked out from her louvered window, and hollered across the road, towards Mabel, whom she saw behind the hibiscus tree.

"Mabel, Mabel, you ah de blasted firerass in dis village!"